


Tomorrows Feelings, Yesterdays Thoughts.

by IceboundStar



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, Character Death, F/M, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Romance (kinda), untold feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 23:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14224419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceboundStar/pseuds/IceboundStar
Summary: After his friend died protecting him, Edward is given a diary that tells him that she felt more than just friendship for him. Based off a request from one of my Tumblr followers. Edward Kenway x Reader





	Tomorrows Feelings, Yesterdays Thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing for Edward, and funny enough a real attempt at writing Angst. As always please let me know if you have any tips or suggestions on anything I can do better, I'd like to hear them. Hope you all enjoy :3

Exhaling a deep breath, Edward Kenway looked out towards the port of Nassau that was just about visible through the sea's stormy weather conditions. Turning the ships wheel to adjust it's course, he thought back to memories of the past month. As each memory came to the front of his mind, his grip on the wheel tightened to the point where his knuckles began to turn red. Edward always knew that when he became a pirate that death would be a part of his life, but he never thought it would affect him as much as it had. Hearing someone clear their throat, he turned his head to the side and saw his new quartermaster who was waiting patiently for him to finish with his thoughts. 

“Yes?”

“Captain,” Anne began carefully. “The crew as well as myself, think that we should stay docked in Nassau for a while longer than planned. You will be able to rest and repair the ship properly.”

Turning his attention back to the Jackdaw's heading, he thought about her advice and opened his mouth to reject the idea when she cut across him.

“Before you refuse, think about how Mary and (Y/N) would have reacted if you said no.”

As the wind picked up around the ship, he thought about what his friends would have said to him if they heard him reject her advice. Mary or James as she preferred to be called, would have called him stubborn and advised him to think about his actions. And (Y/N), his childhood friend who had died a week ago protecting him, would have forced him to stay docked in port for a few days while asking him to take the advice. Brushing his hair out of his face, he looked to Anne again who was quietly observing him. 

“They would both said not to be stupid and rest,” he replied. As a particularly strong gust of wind pushed against his ship, a small tinkle made them both look down to Edward's chest. Around his neck was a long silver chain, and hanging off it was a silver Assassins symbol that was laid against the leather straps of his robes. His hand moved from the wheel of the ship up to the chain and as he grasped it in his hand, his chest began to feel heavy as he thought about the person it belonged to.

“She was your childhood friend wasn't she?”

He nodded with a grim expression now covering his face.

“She was. We grew up together in Wales, and when I was ten I moved away with my mother and father to Bristol. I never thought I'd see her again, and now I never will.”

Anne's face twisted into an expression of sympathy as she placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“It wasn't your fault Edward, and (Y/N) would say the same thing.”

“Aye, that she would,” he replied as he took the chain into his right hand and started to run it though his fingers. A sudden drop of rain on his hands brought his attention away from the necklace, and up to the darkening sky that was now overhead. Looking back to the ships wheel, he adjusted it's course so that his ship could pull in to dock properly. 

“Prepare to drop the anchor,” he said as the rain started to come down heavily. Nodding in response, Anne shouted the order out to the crew who immediately started to get the ship ready to dock. A few minutes later, the ship rumbled loudly as the anchor was dropped to the sea floor. Drawing his hood up, Edward walked away from the helm and down onto the docks away from his ship. He kept walking into the centre of Nassau until he came to a stop in front of a tavern called The Smiling Hare. Edward paused before heading inside, and looked around for an empty table away from the other patrons so he could be in his own company. Stopping at the bar to get a tankard of rum, he spotted a table towards the back of the tavern and made his way towards it. Sitting down at the table, he took a long drink and started to think back to memories of the past month. His grip on the tankard tightened as the smiling face of his friend (Y/N) found it's way to the front of his mind. She had saved his life by jumping in front of a Spanish solider who was aiming a sword at his chest. Edward soon lost track of time as he fell deeper into his thoughts about his friend who had sacrificed herself to save him. Coming too with a cloth waving in front of his face, he saw the owner of the tavern standing in front of him with a scowl on his face.

“Didn't you hear me? I said we're closing, and you need to leave.”

Pulling himself up from his seat, Edward muttered an apology to the owner and made his way outside. Moving away from the tavern, he began to walk back towards his ship through the rain which was still falling heavily from the now dark night sky. Finally arriving back, he walked up on to the main deck and paused to look up at where his quartermaster was stood talking to a member of his crew. They both went quiet as Edward addressed them both. 

“I want the ship to be ready to leave in three days time. Make sure all repairs are finished on the night before we depart for the Observatory.”

“Yes captain.”

*

Three days later as planned, Edward found himself back at sea and heading back towards the Observatory. Listening to his crew sing a shanty, he looked out towards the horizon and thought about the mission ahead. Feeling a hand touch his own and hearing his name being called, he looked to the side to see Anne who seemed to be holding something behind her back.

“I found something in crew quarters that I think (Y/N) would have wanted you to keep. Here take this,” Anne said as she held out what appeared to be a leather bound book. As he took the book from her and held it in his hands, he saw that it was a diary.

“Where did you find this?” he asked as his eyes remained fixed on the leather cover.

“She asked me to keep it safe for her when I came onboard. I've been meaning to pass it over to you for a while, but I couldn't find the right moment to do it. I know she would approve of me giving this to you.”

Edward remained silent, running his fingers over the rough leather of the diary. He then looked up at Anne and nodded to her.

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome Edward. If you need some time to yourself, I can take command for a while.”

“Take the helm,” he said as he began to walk away. Pausing at the top of the stairs down to the deck, he looked back to Anne who was now standing at the ships wheel.

“As soon as the island is in your sight, drop the anchor and wait for orders.”

“Of course Captain.”

Walking down the stairs, he went into his quarters and closed the door behind him. Looking briefly around the room, his eyes came to a rest on a bottle of rum on his desk. Picking it up from where it was, he moved to his bed and sat down with the diary in one hand and the bottle in his other hand. Placing the bottle on the floor, he undid the leather ties on the side that kept the diary closed and opened it to the first page. Stretched across the white page were the words, _“This diary belongs to (Y/N) (L/N).”_ Looking over his friends name, he heaved a sigh and turned a few pages in the diary until he came across an interesting entry.

_15th March 1713_

_Today marks the day of my 19th birthday, and tomorrow I make a move with my stepmother and stepfather across the Atlantic ocean to America. Our ties to the American Brotherhood has allowed us to make this voyage. And although I am happy to be making this crossing across the sea, I am disheartened to leave behind the homeland of my mother and father. I wish they were still here to see how I've grown, and to see my entry into the Assassin Brotherhood. No matter, I have my mothers necklace and hidden blade along with my fathers sword. I shall carry them and their memories with me always._

_I wonder if my childhood friend has fared well in his life. I often think back to those days as a child playing with the boy called Edward Kenway. I used to enjoy those hours of play, running through those fields of his families farm. I find myself wishing at times that I could return to those times of being a child and playing with him. I have heard that he got married to a young woman from a noble family. I wish him well in his new marriage._

A faint smile appeared on Edward's lips as he remembered playing with her as a child, and he continued turning the pages until he found another entry that was dated a few years later. His attention was caught by another mention of his name as his eyes scanned the words.

_14th July 1715_

_I must begin to write my thoughts down more often when time allows._

_I have now been in America for just over two years, and my induction into the Brotherhood has been successful. They have been more than accommodating with my needs to be close to the sea, and have given me missions that have been based in and around the Caribbean. If I am honest with myself, I wholeheartedly enjoy the company of the people of Nassau. It is where well known pirates dock their ships, before heading back out to sea after a few nights of drinking. I will mention that I have been fortunate enough to meet the pirate Mary Reed, or James Kidd as she prefers to be called. She just so happens to be an Assassin, who was sent to give me my next mission._

_I will also mention something else that has been on my mind. While going about my duties, I came across a standard wanted poster on the wall of a tavern. It wasn't the image on it that caught my interest, but the name that was printed below it. The name of my childhood friend Edward Kenway. I was surprised to see his name and more over, to see how he has grown into the most handsome man I have ever seen. I must meet with him again._

Coming to the end of the page, he sighed and turned a few more pages before coming to a rest on another entry which mentioned his name. Realising that he was becoming a frequent subject of her diary, he read the entry that he had found.

_3rd August 1718_

_I am now in my fifth year of being a member of the American Brotherhood._

_I have been travelling on a ship called The Jackdaw which is captained by my old friend Captain Edward Kenway. We met in the most ridiculous circumstances. I ended up fighting with him in a side street thinking that he was a threat to the Assassins. Mary had to separate us and tell me who he was. His eyes held as much shock as I think my own eyes did. I was very surprised to find out about his dealings with the Assassins. I was also told that I was to take up residence on his ship to “quote” keep an eye on him._

_If I am honest with myself, I am enjoying his company far too much. His personality and looks seem to go hand in hand with being a pirate. I know that Assassins are supposed to keep their emotions to themselves, as it could compromise the Brotherhood in ways I could never imagine. But the more time I spend in his company, the more affection I feel for him. I should find a way to prevent myself from feeling like this. He is a married man after all._

As his eyes reached the end of the writing, Edward's eyes widened slightly. 

“She never said anything about feeling affection for me..” he whispered to himself while his chest began to feel heavy with guilt. His left hand came up to grasp her necklace as he reached down for his bottle of rum, and he took a long drink before going back to turning a few more pages. Edward then reached the latest and last entry that (Y/N) had made.

_18th June 1721_

_I know I should keep this entry short as I have duties to attend to, but maybe writing in my diary will help me let go._

_As I am writing this, my brothers are preparing for the burial of my good friend Mary Read. She was captured alone with Anne Bonny and placed in a prison by Templars while they were both pregnant. Edward who was also placed in the same prison, rescued them both from their cells. Mary passed away in his arms due to unsanitary conditions when she gave birth to her child. I will take it upon myself to find out what happened to the child. I owe it to her to do this._

_Anne has taken up Adewale's position on The Jackdaw as quartermaster after Edward was inducted into the brotherhood as he wanted to make amends for what he did. On our travels towards Kingston, she caught me watching Edward while he was at the ships wheel with as she said, a glazed over expression which conveyed more than friendship. I was forced to express my feelings, which I admit made me feel better about it. She thinks that although he's married and we're both Assassins, I should tell him when I have a chance. If nothing serious should happen on our next mission, I will tell him that I love him. I can only hope that our friendship remains strong afterwards._

Without realising, a few tears slipped from his eyes and onto his friends handwriting. And this caused the ink to smudge slightly as his fingers ran over the words on the page. Edward wiped away the wetness that was now staining his cheek, and read the words on the page again as his mind began to process it all.

“Why didn't you tell me...” he said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. Keeping the silver Assassin symbol clutched in his hand, his eyes came to a rest on his friends hidden blade and sword that were laid on top of a chest in the corner of his room. He then brought his attention back to the heavy diary that was sitting in his lap, and ran his fingers over the cover one last time before re-tied the leather straps to keep it closed. Edward stood up with the diary still in his hands and moved over to where his desk was, and placed it down on the wooden surface where it covered his maps. Turning to the chest he picked up the hidden blade and strapped it to his left forearm, and ejected it to see if it was working properly. As he finished checking his weapons, he felt his ship shudder slightly as it's anchor was dropped. Turning to face the door of his quarters, he made his way outside to find Anne waiting for him along with the rest of his crew.

“We've reached the observatory Captain,” she said to him. And as she waited for him to speak, her eyes moved down to his forearm to see a very familiar hidden blade that now sat on his arm.

“Prepare the boat and get ready to come ashore with me,” he said directing his words at her. And as Edward watched his crew carry out his order, he looked down to where his friends hidden blade on his arm.

“I promise that I will put this to good use (Y/N),” he said gently as her smiling face appeared in his mind. “You have my word.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to request a one-shot or would like to send me any prompts you would like me to work from, you can send them to me at iceboundstar.tumblr.com I usually post any stories, updates and my schedules there first :)


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